Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I've had terrible experiences with Christians. Hated Christians. Wrote emails to pastors destroying Christianity. Read all the sceptical literature and now I'm a.. Christian. I follow Christ not the church. I'm not perfect at all which is why I need him. Here's some of the questions I've processed over the years https://streettheologian.medium.com/200-questions-for-sceptics-and-truth-seekers-b398ddf00dea. All the best with the journey!